Episode Three- The Way Out
Drew: So let’s say as a Previously, that WE DONE BEEN DRINKIN
That’s some prisoner that gets Awesome Garb with Fur Trim.
That you have not done a musical evaluation of the opening ditty marks you with shame.
And it’s a ditty.
Jen:Ok, that’s fair.
It’s a solid ditty. Further analysis to come
Drew:This is already stupid. Steam train and soldier garb! LISTEN TO BOREDOME SLASH YOUR HUSBAND.
Jen:It’s interesting, she almost looks like a totally different person in her own time.
Drew:I wish I was nerd enough to identify their ranks.
Jen:Aww, omg, that is actually kind of romantic.
*shakes fist at show* Don’t make me like Frank!!!!
Drew:Good thing there was nobody else on the track losing loved ones.
Jen:I don’t know why someone would jump to the idea that she’s a witch and not just crazy
Drew:Finally! SHe can comes off as a crazy person!
Jen:I so want to be able to say someday I’m From The Future
Drew:KILL HER PADMORE
KILL THE FUTURE DEMON
Wait. That didn’t happen? Fuck you, show.
Jen:Nope. Don’t worry, she will be declared a witch plenty more times in the series
Drew:She seems pretty okay with being a prisoner.
Jen:Oooh, that was finally a good Jesus H Roosevelt Christ
Drew:Jack MacBlack is bored.
As am I.
Like him, I have been cast as, HUMOROUS SIDE CHARACTER to this experience.
The Bruins kill EVERYONE!
Serious Times at the Ren Fest
How many Fat Gamer Dudes (Me Included) wished they coukd intone the same at knife point?
Jen:At least Starz is equal opportunity on butts
Drew:How do Lairds get their beards trimmed at that level?
Drew:I’m the comedy here
Where did they get all this clear glass?
That is some hot chin. Why do y’all hate her?
Jen:Ugh because she is THE WORST
Jamie don’t have time for no Laoghaire
Drew:She’s got some zumzums, Claire has some zitzits. I mean, duh.
Look at her! She’s so sad and longing for the guy who took a beating for her!
Jen:Yeah, but she is not awesome and Main Charactery
Drew:Jamie is mean. TEAM LEGHAIR ESTABLISHED!
OTP Jamie = Leghair
Drew:No, seriously. But for time gravel, that would have happened.
Time travel too
Time Gavel is the name of my new temporal reality show.
Drew:Time Gravel is on Home and Garden.
Time Hovel is about the widdlest twime twavlers
Time Fivel is the same, but with a mouse
Time Hagel is like Storage Wars but more steampunk.
Jen:augh he is so smitten I can’t even handle it IT’S THE MOST ROMANTIC THING EVER
Drew:Whoops, Time Haggle.
Time Hagel is THE WORST PHILOSOPHER AT LENGTH
Jen:I like what you’re doing with these time themed jokes
Drew:Wait! pause for laughter! We’re missing Wild Eyes plot development.
(But we’ll need to talk about TIME BAGEL soon)
Jen:Damnit I’m missing show laughing over here
Drew:Jack MacBlack confronts Claire. Naught happens
BUT TIME BABEL
Is his name Tanis?
Jen:Totally normal Scottish name
Drew:I am on Brutish Priest Side. That guy looks like he stepped off a heavy metal van.
Yeah! you whip that kid with water!
I am on board with your weird Popey beliefs, Jen.
Also, Jack MacBlack.
Drew:Yes! Leghair gets some leg-him!
Jen:Reason #1 why Leghair is hated. But not the biggest reason.
Hee. OMG. I love this. She needles him all through dinner for that makeout
Murtagh is Legit Awesome
Drew:I’ve had equally dramatic conversations at the lunch table IN FIFTH GRADE.
Do they slap the janitor high five as the leave?
WAIT SO CRAZY EYES KIDS STARTED A DONUT EMPIRE?
THIS IS IMPORTANT
CRAZY DONUT EYES
(Her name last name is Duncan)
(That;s the joke)
Jen:OH man. I needed that explanation
Drew:Welcome to the future, Claire.
What is up with that top, Crazy Eyes.
Jen:That’s Geillis’ husband
Drew: I aspire to be that man
Jen: I am cackling manically right now
STARLIGHTS AND TIC TACS
Drew:ALSO CANDY CANES’
HO HO HO
I AM AN ELF OUT OF TIME
did he fart
we need to discuss
this is the old tymes
Jen:How life should be
So why is that kid getting a hipster earring?
Jen:He was caught stealing
Nope. Claire is not stupid, she knows not to tell Geillis anything
Crazy Eyes is Up To Something!
I want to poop at the Black Kirk
Jen:So you’re saying we’re going on a vacation to Scotland
Drew:My waste joins the waste of history
Did Old Tymes not have teens who would hang out there and drink shitty grog at abandoned locales?
Jen:Why drink grog when you can eat random plants
Drew:Also, Prussia was not a thing yet.
FUCK YEAH PADMORE
Tannis Halfeleven lives!
Is that guy named Father Bane?
Jen:He’s a bad guy!
Drew:Frowny foreshadowing face
She is a prisoner with daily outfit changes.
Jen:What they can’t have a pretty lady wandering around in underwear
Drew:Claire has a problem with time travel.
Jen:In Scotland time travels you!
I’ll be here all night.
This is a convenient song
Where are her rings and watch?
They just showed a ring and watch.
This show is everything I want it to be
Drew:This is kinda getting dumber
Drew:She is just now, two weeks in to her time travel experience, worrying about time travrl?