Episode Four- The Gathering
Drew: Hi everybody! It’s my birthday! This is my test and mints to how much I love Jen cuz I’m watching this show.
Too much pressure!
Drew: Claire looks like she grew a Jamie head in the recap.
Jen: OMG this is going to be such a good episode!
Drew: Stupid Gchat robbed me of my hilarious joke.
I was all “Sing me a sssoonng” DROP — WUB WUB WUB
Jack MAc Black!
oh man the scamp army
this is what we all wanted
Jen: And the Merry & Pippen Scottish dudes
Drew: Also, the Watchtowers are hela stupid tactical;y.
Tactically. What is one dude with a musket (rifle) going to do?
Jen: Shoot some other dudes? Like, once? Really well?
Drew: I like her mittens.
Jen: When do we go fiddle camping in 5 layers of woolen clothes?
Drew: That’s you.
You are Stew Lady
That is your walk on role
And you will be thankful
Distant shot. Nebulous stew.
Jen: Oh yeah.
I would own that role
Distant shot Nebulous stew will be my first album name
Drew: Who is that Stew Girl? Click now on OhNoTheyStewedIt!
Drew: Crazy Eyes! yay
Jen: More fart jokes!
Jen: This show is made for me
Drew: Good times!
I hope we never have that car ride. You know, that one and only one flashback.
Crazy Eyes is a jerk now.
And she seems to be franchising.
Also, your Spoiler is actually spoiling my ability to comment on this stupid show.
Jen: I know. It’s stupid obvious when you know what’s going on.
Drew: Do you hear that, reader?
If she is gonna run, why is she keeping her butt bumber on?
Jen: Gotta look awesome for when you tumble back into the 1940s. Start up the SCA immediately upon return
Drew: That’s lewd.
Padmore is also Tim Gunnnnnn
Men playing field hockey. Rugged.
Jen: Ahhhh, I need a neck ribbon
Ugh, author alert
Drew: You have like three neck ribbons
Jen: I really dislike it when book authors get cameos in their movies/shows, it is too contact embarassy
Drew: Wacky Ankles! Ain’t no party like a Wacky Ankles party! Time for the bagpipes then the….
WUB WUB WUB
Jen: Stop trying to make Skrillex happen!
Drew: I’m going back in time to MacBangarang
(That’s a Skrilz ref)
(I am yoof)
Wait. I was lost in my Matrix 2/Scotch dance fantasy. Who was the devil author who brought this on us?
Jen: Diana Gabaldon just had a cameo.
Drew: I was distracted by Wacky Ankle’s knowledge of Klingon.
If I was the Laird, that chalice would be full of fart juice.
DO NOT BREAK EYE CONTACT WHILE YOU DRINK MY FARTS BRO
YOU LOVE IT
AND MY ANKLES
Jen: I am cackling manically right now
Drew: There is an almost broke wig merchant out there.
Jen: I dunno, they are going off script now
Drew: I want a spinoff of Jack MacBlack’s port bender RIGHT THE FUCK NOW
WE WERE A HALF MARCH TO INNISHMORE WHEN THE PORT BEGAN TO SET IN
Jen: Claire was not this organized in her book escape attempt
Drew: That’s a reference.
Jen: Ewww, Laoghaire
Drew: She is so pretty.
Like a prized rat.
Jen: Really? Her?
Drew: Booby yet approachable/desperate.
Jen: OMG. Put on some CK ONe
Uhhh, I mean, smoke bomb
Drew: This is a sex ref, reader.
Caber toss me.
Drew: Calire is a jerk!
Jen: Ok, that whole exchange never ever happened in the book, but I like the Oz reference
Mythbusters to save the day! “I could not save the Build Crew, but I can save you.”
Drew: Wow. Thus due went from Lawful Neutral to Neutral Evil quick.
Jen: That Dougal thing in the book was just an inappropriate kiss, but Show Claire rocks so much
Drew: Thus due = This dude
Jen: Get ready, show only peopel
“I will die on your cross, Jamie.”
Gee, Claire, that doesn’t sound like anything like a spy would say with all that “I know your sentries” bit.
So can I say that nobody in the period wore their hair like she does?
Jen:You can say that
But it doesn’t matter because her hair is AMAZEBALLS
Drew: Ambushed at the hooooooolllee
I shall not burn?
Jen: I shine, not burn
Drew: So should I be making tshirts with that logo?
Jen: Wait for the right logo….
I am ready
Drew: I assume it’s a greasy dick over a sun lamp
Jen: Scottish politics!
Drew: Wait. Is there some drama.
This is why they are not free on England yet.
YOU SUCK CLAIRE
Jen: Yup. One of the many times Claire will say “this is all my fault”
Wait, my yup was not for her sucking, though
Drew: Did he just give up a shit fob?
Shit Fob is waiting at the back.
In a wig.
Jen: Is that some weird nerd lingo with which I am not familiar?
Drew: Why are they happy?
They were about to stab.
Seriously, what happened.
Beardo was all like ach ach ach
Jen: He basically said he wasn’t pledging allegiance to the clan but he would obey their leader while he was on their land. Win win
Plus Jamie is the kind of guy that every woman wants and every man wants to be. He’s a threat to Dougal because he’s a natural leader and people follow him
Drew: So he farted loyalty in their general direction?
Oh man, I thought they’d skip the sort of boring boar hunt
Drew: r u trying injoke
Jen: But I guess we are now getting an old timey boar hunt
I want to hear you 5 solid on boar hunting
Jen: I need to workshop this
Drew: Highland boars are all….
Lowland boars are all…
Oh man. Pig threat.
BOARS HEAD DELI MEATS
Who is Claire narrating at?
Jen: Us! We are special!
Drew: Why did people hunt boars again?
Jen: Ugh, they so needed tv back then
Drew: Or nicer pigs.
Drew: Too soon
Jen: Do I need to work on my pig jokes too?
Drew: Yeah. There was a Charlotte’s Web joke in there.
THAT’S SOME WIDOWMAKER
Jen: Charlottes Web is mostly about a spider and spiders are no laughing matter!
Drew: Also, they need to pul their mic from the waterall.
Jen: Field hockey!
That’s where I’m a viking!
Drew: That rifle is not period. Full stop.
Jen: This is exactly how we played field hockey in high school
Drew: Be it noted, I wanted one of those hurling sticks when we were in Ireland and you dissuaded me.
Jen: I was gravely mistaken
To the time travel stones!
Drew: Hey! You made a funnt
Jen: If we go back in time to our Ireland trip I want a do-over on Cork
We are going to the butter museum
Drew: Rochard Dolan would have a lot to say about this.
Jen: Yessss, finally. ON the road!
Drew: Sex tttooooouuurrrrrr
Jen: Business time!
Drew: Business Scotch!
Who lawn mowed that land.
Oh, a new outfit for the prisoner!
This is dumber.
Jen: Ok, this episode has been the weak link
Drew: Just this one?
Jen: Things are going to really get going next week!
Yes, the other episodes were COMPLETELY AWESOME.
Chicken Wing dingles.
Jen: This one definitely needed a little more something, but it was also necessary to get some of the family and political drama cleared up
Don’t overuse your chicken wing joke!
Next week will be awesome!