Episode Seven- The Wedding
Drew: Is this… it?
So what is the Scottish Romance vs Basketball Hardships crossover anyways?
Jen: OMG IT IS TIME.
I am excited.
Drew: Oh, Jamie. You are my freshman year.
I like the “Bilbo and Breeze” line in the opening song.
Jen: You seem to really like that line
Drew: Gives props to their Hobbit roots.
OG! (Original Gandalf)
Jen: Credits just ended. Goodbye world.
Old timey kitty cat!
Drew: Catty Sue.
Woah. Frank is kinda domineering jerk.
DAMN YOU IN MEDIA RES
Jen: Awwww. What is wrong with me I am a terrible feminist, I thought it was sweet
Drew: Poor Claire, too many people love her.
Jen: What are they doing, they are messing with the wedding time line
Drew: So who died for Claire’s wedding dress? Skeletons can’t die, right?
Jen: There is stuff that’s supposed to happen before this, like the procurement of the wedding dress.
Drew: Oh, Claire. Way to be a cold burn.
Did Jamie’s chin get more rugged?
Jen: Ok, I guess I see what they are doing with the time line, it’s going to be flashbacky. I will cool my jets
Drew: I need a name for Emo Uncle.
This is book stuff, right?
Jen: Yeah, that was a line straight from the book
Drew: Cuz…. LAME
Jen: By lame you mean romantic
Drew: I shy away from remembering my early romances for this reason.
There is only you, Jen.
Jen: You did go on about your family tree and Charlemagne for a while in our early dating days
Drew: Well, yes. One can only sheath their sword in noble leather.
(We have a kid)
Jen: OMG stahp
Drew: Don’t deny my love, Black Jack Jen.
I’m team Angus now BTW
Wait. Is this Chapter 26?
Jen: No, it’s not, and you will know what people get all upset about when you see it
Drew: Like, I am LOVEDUMB, is this… okay?
Also, you do not need to pull out all those laces. Am I rite, SCA folks?
We better see wang.
I wish my vrigin outing lasted that long.
Jen: Book people are going to be happy they kept this exchange in [horses]
Drew: Jamie is a dumbo.
Is she going to be his Sexsei?
Jen: Well, there is a reason why people insist on calling these bodice rippers
Drew: Uncle Mythbusters getting creepy.
So do we need to stay in a dirty croft for our anniversary or…?
Jen: Or do we need to stay in a dirty croft. I believe that is the only option,.
Except for maybe if one is clean but haunted.
Drew: There is some Scottish barn owner who is about to hit the jackpot.
Was the beardy dude in the books more? Cuz we the viewers have no idea who he is.
Jen: He actually is in the show more, but he’s a pretty important character. He’s Jamie’s godfather.
Drew: He is a beardy dude among beardy dudes.
Jen: But he’s the beardy dude who always has Jamie’s back when other beardos are up in Jamie’s business
Drew: Who creeped on Jamie’s mom?
Jen: Murtagh was totally in love with Jamie’s mom
Drew: I am that priest.
Jen: I kind of like this Willie kid they added in
Drew: I want to be him. He is a time traveler.
If Rik Mayall had not died, this would be his part.
I like these two. Tenacious D.
Jen: I totally love these two guys
Drew: I want their show.
MY THIRD CONDITION WAS FUCKING
Jen: He wanted her to have a pretty wedding dress! It’s so sweet.
Drew: Ned has a pretty good job.
Jen: I believe the extras in the brothel are what almost every lady in garb at a Ren Fest has in mind.
Drew: So how’s your Ren Fest dress?
Claire is a casual jerk.
Yeah, Ron is totally married to the costuming director.
LET’s PAN DOWN THE DRESS
JAMMF for short
Jen: Yup you are now ready for the internet full of memes invoking JAMMF
Drew: Maybe JAMMF!
Wait, this is already a thing? I am unwilling to join this zeitgeist.
Jen: That dress is amazing
It has been a thing longer than this show has been a twinkle in Ron Moore’s eyes
Drew: No matter how tempting “You got JAMMF’d!” is as a catchphrase.
Claire has your freaky knuckles!
we are going to have to re do our wedding huh
Jen: Time for a blood vow!
Jen: Jeez, you are as bad as all of the middle aged women online
Drew: Mom deserves her share.
Jen: This is a classy production, all we are getting is butts
Drew: Butts and RIPPLING BICEPS
Jen: Butts are classy
Drew: Ungh. Too much spine, Claire. Eat a haggis or something.
Um Jen so the things you said to me on our wedding night we should talk about that because they imply i have to maintain a certain ab level i cannot live up to
Dude fell asleep that quickly?
Jen: Abs are unnecessary but hush about how I insist you speak in a Scottish accent all the time.
Drew: BRACH I IS UM
Jen: Gross Dougal come on!
Jen: That was not in the book
Drew: Uncle Mythbusters makes bad choices.
And that haircut.
Pan down camera!
It’s hard to hate Jamie for his earnest stupidity. He’s like a really cool dog that you also have sex with.
Jen: again, I hate to tell you, but you are late to another meme.
Drew: Also, a pearl necklace in sexual situation is a different thing, bro.
Jen: That scene when he was sleeping outside of her door was basically the dog in UP being like I slept under your porch because I love you
Drew: Verra? More like VERRA WAAAANNNNGGGG