Episode Eight: Both Sides Now
Jen:I am so ready
Drew:Ready for my Bilbo and Breeeeeeee
Jen:And yet I weep for April 4 is a long way off
Drew:This fall… Jamie goes missing in Spain?
Jen:Starz it is 9:00 get it together! No more commercials!
Drew:Or maybe Scandalandia
Bilbo and bree time!
So, Jenny… What’s a dragoon?
Jen:An officer in his majesty’s army?
Drew:It’s a military type. Infantry, cavalry, etc..
Jen:Worst of all, Frank, is not that your wife might be dead, but that she might be with another man. Sums up Frank.
Oh, it’s an actual military rank?
Drew:No, not a rank. A type of unit. Cavalry fights on horse, infantry on foot, artillery with cannons… etc. So what does a dragoon do?
Jen:This song is on Spotify and I listen to an embarrassing number of times. Almost as many as Blink-182.
Drew:If you say ‘Fight on Dragons’ then this show would be a lot better.
Jen:Even GoT barely has dragons let alone dragon fights.
Drew:You’re dodging the question. Perhaps… like a dragoon?
Jen:I assume dragoons are just jerks who do jerky things in the name of “the law”
Drew:Nope. They are soldiers who travel by horse, but fight on foot like light infantry. The Marines of the plains.
“The past sex weeks” <= WTG, Scotland tourism board!
No sign of a struggle? DID YOU EVEN READ THE BOOKS?!
Jen:Oh, as usual, I feel bad for Frank
Drew:Frank Randall in “Making A Scene In Whiteville”
Where did she get that hand knitted shawl?
Circle the wagons!
Jen:OMG how can you pay attention to a shawl during one of the most romantic conversations EVAR
Or maybe Radaghast
Jen:Poor hair and makeup department must have been at loose ends, looks like it’s raining buckets
Drew:Yeah, that dude has a sled pulled by rabbits. Radagast for sure.
Jen:I’m glad the show found a few minutes for Hugh Munro, I thought for sure he’d be cut
Drew:Honeymoon in Scotland! Have weirdos shoot arrows and/or scotch at you!
Jen:It’s a dragonfly in amber. Stay tuned for season 2!
Drew:She said the name of a book!
Is that where they get the dinosaurs from?
If she makes a fake tongue for thus guy, I’m out.
I would pay Pay Per View cash money for a fight between this guy and Hodor.
They are going to meet a hoarcrux?
Where did his bow go?
I wonder what Father Bane is doing. Or Crazy Eyes.
Jen:Ahh, wee little Roger Wakefield!!!!!
Drew:Does that kid grow up to be president of scotland?
Jen:That kid grows up. To be kind of awesome and kind of boring and kind of aggravating.
Drew:Hey, Housekeeper Witch! Now’s a good time to mention those weirdo handlines Claire had!
Jen:Ok, I really to know what the what is going on with this lady.
Drew:Just doan call me late fer dinnah.
She was one of the twirling dancers. [“Sally” in bar]
Drew:I have no idea. She’s playing a con and he’s about to get beat up.
Jen:I want someone to bust out the now ancient drawing of Claire that BJR drew and show it to Frank
We need to tell stories amongst friends by a campfire sometime.
Drew:About what? That time your pumpkin spice latte was not to your liking?
Horsey sense tingling!
So does Black MacJack know to just keep talking or is he oblivious?
Jen:He knows, he drew a knife
Drew:Finally! Some action!
Jen:Fight! It’s a real fight!
I told you there would be swashbuckling.
Drew:Again, reminding Jamie about his gunshot wound.
Jen:You’ve just had 7 hours to get to know the characters you so care about the swashbuckling.
Drew:I had a PC like Ned in a Seven Seas game.
I bet this was the one time it did not rain in Scotland.
Ooh, Randall genetic are mean genetics.
I want to see Evil’s Cup.
(I’d have to visit Real Madrid, I guess)
Why was the housekeeper bringing linens into the library?
I admit I am regretting not ordering a waistcoat with that kilt.
Jen:Starz really should have contracted with a Renaissance Fair outfitter for some Outlander brand garb
Drew:How does she not know where the breastbone is?
Jen:Willie! My fave new secondary character
Drew:So is Angus redeeming himself for past jerkitudes?
I want some Frank cut trowsers. Dude has some breathing space there.
How is babby formed?
Jen:If you can believe it they have already cut out like 4 sex scenes that were in the book.
Oh. Uh. No thanks.
Jen:Well, that pretty much happened like it did in the book.
Drew:Where are the redcoats’ horses?
Jen:Here’s Mrs Graham with her tea reading skills and stone dancing info
Drew:Oh good! I’m depressed about my missing wife and you’re giving me a lesson in comparative mythology!
Frank’s face looks like the face of Diana Gab’s first prospective publisher.
That is a face designed to sell Gerber.
My Dagger Tip is the name of my new band.
Jen:No horses. See, your questions get answered.
Drew:If they are deserters, where is the cake and ice cream?
I do like Frank’s car.
Growing up, there was a dude down the hill who had a Grey Ghost that he kept under a tarp through winter. When he brought out that bone white auto, we knew Spring had sprung.
I’m getting real with you, yo. I mean, it’s either that or talking about Claire staring at a matte painting.
She runs forward to it and BONK
Jen:See, there you go, she’s making an honest effort at getting back!
Drew:An honest effort by chance.
Sideways branchy tree by tooth stone in Frank time and…
Jen:This whole Frank at the stones and Claire running to them thing is a nice new development, good job, show!
Oh jeez, this is giving me actual goosebumps.
Drew:… sideways branchy tree in Claire time!
Jen:Gabaldon wishes she wrote this this good
well, I mean, wrote this this well
Drew:Trees grow, yo.
And now, redcoats.
Jen:Redcoats always messing with things
Drew:So those are dragoons because they ride horses, but also have muskets (which you can’t shoot from a horse)
And I saw Gallagher!
Want to drag a chair in a creepy manner? Call Black Jack Randall at 1-800-BLC-JACK for lessons!
She’s about to get hit.
Sick burn, bro.
Jen:Ugh, Hawkins is the worst
Except for Actual Worst Black Jack
Jen:And that is how the episode ends.
Agh, Starz! I can’t wait 7 months!
And I know what happens!
Drew:I hope when they come back they are all wearing grey beards and stuff.