Jen: Are you ready?!
Drew: SOOooo we’re watching that Big Boxing Match that I have never expressed any interest in but now dearly wish to see?
Jen: Ha ha
I can’t believe that after this episode we’ll only have 3 left in this season
This song shifts perspective too much. C+
Also, this show has promised hot field hockey action for like 13 eps and has yet to deliver.
Jen: You saw that shinty game in episode 4!
Drew: Shinty game?
Jen: Oh I have heard good things about the director for this episode
I am already tense! It’s only 1 minute in!
Drew: Who is MacTavish? A man of mystery?
So this is the local MacMob Boss, right?
Drew: I want to see a mule on fire kick stuff
Jen: Ah shut up Claire
She is making me nervous
Drew: Seriously. She is the worst spy.
Jen: I know, right
Drew: Knock Knock. It’s the Jerk Squad.
Uh Oh. Winkle Face is about to be an issue.
Jen: WTF these watch guys are super jerks
Drew: None shall be seated during the Fire Scene.
So is this from the books?
Jen: Oh shit
No this is all off book
Drew: Sexy Horrocks!
Jen: That was a nice creepy wink Horrocks. Guess who’s getting another bag of gold
Drew: More like a sack of gold if you know what i mean
Jen: In the book the Lallybroch chapters are all nice and calm and Claire and Jamie just have nice domestic and romantic times
Drew: (Jamie’s balls)
Jen: These Scottish children are too adorable
Drew: It’s a Changeling, Jenny. Don’t fall for its spell.
Jen: Oh that’s right, I forgot, Jamie and Ian fought side by side because Jamie is left handed
Drew: Awww. Did they knuffle their tumkins when the googie was so?
Time to strangle that baby in the womb, Claire. I want to join the Black Watch, Jen. I can be a hanger on.
Jen: You want to barge into people’s houses and make them uncomfortable while eating all their food?
Drew: Yes. Also I want to look like Zach Galifinackis, just like Horrocks.
SORRY I SPOILED HIS CREDIBLE THREAT
I hope this baby bursts Kool Aid Man style into this world.
Like, yanno, nature dictates.
Jen: Shouldn’t Claire call for a midwife? She’s a combat nurse, how many babies has she delivered?
Drew: She’s delivered bullet babies.
Also, she wants to kill Jenny. There can be only one.
Jen: This weird talk is straight from the book. Gabaldon is so weired
Oh, they did try to call the midwife. Ugh it is just going to be gross
Drew: oh no the baby will be born in this taxi cab it has never been done before snnnnnzzzzzz
Jen: No but breech is still dangerous even today in modern times. They aren’t supposed to come out feet first!
Drew: Ungh. Sibling siblrey.
Isn’t there some plant she could eat? Or maybe she could do the Geillis dance? or she could get that stick out of her butt
Jen: Eeeeeee this is a great book line
Drew: So this is setting up the reasons for Future Things, huh?
Jen: Well I think it’s more explanation for why she isn’t knocked up yet because they have been doing it quite a lot
Drew: Boston is an expensive city, Horrocks.
Jen: Whoa was not expecting sword in the back
Drew: Ian goes crazy with bloodlust.
Ian is so lonely.
Jen: Oh Jamie’s little snake!
In the book he carries it in his sporran all the time
Drew: He has a serpent in his sporran, I bet.
Ungh. Just murder her Claire and get it over with.
Jen: Oh My God any dude yelling at a woman giving birth needs to be kicked in the balls for like an hour
Drew: So did they not understand optimal cup construction back then or do they just have a really crappy potter at Castle Lollipop?
This guy seems like a reasonable thug to work for.
Jen: He can do math!
Drew: No dental, sure.
Jen: That took an unexpected turn
Drew: But lots of butter in the crock.
Like, he’s everything Dougal could have been. Also, he has nice hair. I’m in love, Jenny. Sorry, Larry, you’re gawped back to #2.
Jen: You have my best wishes, you and grimy local thug #1
Drew: Woah, That’s Mr. Grimy Local Thug #1 to you, hussy.
How much older than Jamie was dead Willie?
Jen: He was like 5 or 8 years older
Drew: So he was 10-13 when he carved that snake?
That’s primo Etsy wank right there.
Jen: *fanning myself* OMG they are the best couple on tv ever
Drew: Woah, Hawkeye’s wife is totally fine with Clint being and Avenger.
Jen: You’ve got a money making Etsy scheme there. Drew’s Totally Old Timey Good Enough Snake Carving
We are crossing our banter!
Drew: I WANT THAT WATCH
Jen: You love that Poem Skull don’t you?
Drew: STARS WHY IS THAT WATCH NOT FOR SALE
STARZ STARZWATCH PLZWATCH Get me that watch, Jamie. plz
Jen: So it’s going to be raining like that the entire we’re in Scotland right?
Jen: This childbirth is making me more uncomfortable than the dudes with guns.
Can’t she do a c-section? That was invented for Julius Casear, wasn’t it?!
Do you even lift, bro?
Drew: Time for Jenny to bleed out?
Or Ian. Or Jamie. Just tell me the watch is okay.
Jen: Drew & Skull Watch = OTP
Drew: That’s Mr Skull Watch to you.
Those are some mad big earrings.
Jen: OMG they remembered the bracelets!
I am excited about this!
Drew: Murdoch’s got claws, yo.
Jamie wanted the watch too. That’s why he stayed.
Jen: That was really good!
Drew: Cut to Jamie poking furiously at his Uber app. “Why won’t anyone pick up form the Highlands!” he moans to the sky.
Jen: I can’t wait for next week! Agh!
Drew: The episode is called the Watch. It is all about the watch. The Watch.