Jen & Drew- Live Chat, Episode 2×2: Not in Scotland Anymore

We were a day late watching the episode, so I’m actually putting this live chat up here in a somewhat timely fashion.

Drew:

This

FRANCH me a FRANCH

Jen:

Episode 2

Drew:

Welcome back to Outlander – here’s your opening shots of handmeat!

Simon Callow returns! Get your towels, ladies.

Hand Massage: In Color.

Jen:

Someone got a costume budget!

Drew:

Again with the Everyone Gives Claire dresses.

What is up with dude’s shoulders. It looks like he’s smuggling silly putty.

Jen:

Well, that was not what I expected for this episode opening

Drew:

Wait. Didn’t we see that Jamie was Bad At Business last season?

Jen:

Ha! Good point. 

I think a wine business in Paris pretty much runs itself

Drew:

That dress is not period.

Jen:

Good eye, it is based on a designer from the 40s 

Drew:

YOU DID IT MOM

Jen:

I want to say Yves St Laurent

Drew:

LOOKIT ME NOW

Jen:

Maybe he’s not from the 40s

I dunno

Yes! Quaint city streets! Let’s go to Paris!

Build the Eiffel Tower yourself Claire, make a name for yourself!

Drew:

What’s with the hats. “This season, let us all wear the pancakes on our heads.”

Jen:

Creepy apothecary, this show has everything!

Drew:

No trip to Paris is complete without a trip to the Alligator Store! 

What con man gives up his spiel when he first meets a new, well dressed client?

Jen:

I feel like this is the kind of scene that book readers are happy to see on screen but might be kinda boring

Drew:

Also, why don’t I have an eyeball vest.

“Give me an eyeball! And a bird!”

“Make sure the bird looks hella serious. I’m trying to run a business.”

“Excuse me, sirs… but you seem to be fighting in my back yard?”

Shout out to the Rupes and Angs!

Jen:

Bring Rupert and Angus over the Channel!

Murtagh is homesick

Drew:

They need a Rupes and Angs sideshow.

Murtagh is serious business.

Jen:

Whoa whoa, even Claire isn’t saying to kill the Prince. Geez, Murtagh

Though it’s a valid strategy

Drew:

“Want to stop a war? Kill some dude.”

“Police?There are two Scottish dudes who were fighting in my yard..now they seem to be sexing.”

Jen:

Time to meet Bonnie Prince Charlie!

Drew:

Why isn’t Jamie just becoming Batman. He could be Le Bathomme.

Zounds indeed.

Thanks for the subtitles,show.

….this took a turn…

…a dildo turn…

Jen:

Oh, those French

Drew:

Did brothels have commercials for dildos?

Cuz that was dildo commercial.

Prince Charlie is really bad at first impressions.

Jen:

Jamie’s laying it on too thick now

Drew:

Murtagh getting all maudlin. 

Jen:

Love that a dude sitting in a brothel is talking about God’s truth’

Drew:

God’s Truth matters! says the guy in the brothel.

Jinx

Jen:

Did kings really believe that they were actually divine rules? Like, for reals?

Drew:

They did.

It was pretty sweet.

Jen:

Jamie’s curse and blessing is that LITERALLY EVERYONE that meets him loves him

Drew:

Didn’t work out too well with Black Jack.

Claire: “Enough of Charles… Did you get one of those dildos?”

“I mean, I assume you would as why else would you have described them to me?”

French Crazy Eyes!

With nip slips!

Jen:

Mary Hawkins!!! 

Yay

I like her

Drew:

Here’s your Waif!

Jen:

So I assume it’s protocol that even today you can slap the people giving you Brazilians

Drew:

Slap her! Make her live under a bed!

Versailles! Time to spend all the dress budgets!

YOUR HONEYPOT

Jen:

I can’t believe they kept honeypot

Drew:

THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW

“Claire! I can finally find the standing stone in your forrest!”

This is an adult show for adult people.

Does this mean that Black Jack was clean shaven too?

Jen:

Eww

Drew:

Two Weeks Later and Claire is Really Scratchy

Jen:

Eeee, the red dress!

Drew:

“I’ll wait in the carriage.” “No you won’t! You’ll hear about my honeypot!”

Jen:

They are really fast forwarding through this book.

Like, this is crazy fast through the first part of the book

Ugh, they’re making Annalise a thing

Drew:

So nobody else wore colors but these two?

Jen:

She is not a thing

Drew:

Leghair Mark II

Jen:

Yup

Drew:

Two hours of King Schlong later…

Murtagh for the new Joel or Mike in Mystery Science Theater 1740!

Jen:

Bless this show for spending 5 minutes on the king’s dump

Drew:

The King’s Dump was the name of my second historical mystery novel.

I sense a sexual assault about to occur.

Jen:

You are not wrong

Drew:

At Make Out Arch, We Sit!

Jen:

So these Parisian parties are basically like teenage makeout parties

Drew:

So the french guy is a foot weirdo.

Oh, it’s okay. He’s a cool foot weirdo.

King is a jerkface.

Jen:

Huh. The king is younger than he was in my head when I read the book

Drew:

That’s a gif waiting to happen.

Jen:

Sandringham!

Drew:

Claire is gonna stone cold cut a dude.

Jen:

Randall!

ZOMG

Drew:

Black Jack lives!

Jen:

Huh, this is a pretty big change from the book, the way Alex Randall is introduced

Oh snap.

Drew:

The amount of shade throwing this ep.

Jen:

Epic

Would fireworks really have looked like that in old timey days

Open Hangout

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